39 weeks 6 days

Random thoughts from an almost 40 week pregnant woman.

I've been having contractions since about 30 weeks.  That's 10 weeks.  2 and a half months.

The contractions got really bad  a few weeks ago.  Like, laying on my couch not being able to do anything because if I stood up it hurt, bad.  But they never got regular or consistent.  Most days have been better since then, but I've still had a few bad days.  It is strange to feel somewhat normal some days and completely exhausted and run down on others.

Yesterday I had 7 hours (7!) of timeable, somewhat painful contractions.  Unfortunately, the timing was all over the place and not painful enough to send me to the hospital.  Went to bed at 9:30 and woke up today pretty much back to normal with very few contractions at all today.  It is the craziest (and most frustrating) thing.

I feel like a ticking time bomb.  Or at least like people look at me that way.  I feel like they think my water is going to break or my contractions are going to cause me to push this baby out in the middle of my conversation with them.

I'm trying really (really, really) hard to trust that my body is going to tell me when I'm actually in labor.  After having contractions for 10 weeks, it is hard to believe that I'll know when the real ones will be here. 

As much as I'm ready for this next phase of our life to start, I'm also very anxious about the major change that is about to happen in our house.  For example, yesterday when I got Rebekah up from her nap, she was content eating a snack and playing with her puzzles while I worked on dinner.  Our routine has really become fairly easy.  And for someone who has Discipline as one of their Strengths, this is something I thrive on.  I know that the lack of schedule with a newborn baby is going to throw all of this out the window.  (However, at least this time around, I know routine will eventually return.)

We are going to schedule an induction for next Friday.  I'm either getting a new TV or a new baby for Black Friday (maybe both).  While having an "end date" is somewhat comforting, I'm really going to be disappointed after all this (impatient) waiting if I don't get to experience going into labor on my own.

This whole not knowing the gender thing is getting really old.  I'm ready to buy some cute Christmas clothes for this baby.

Rebekah has been consistently telling me (for weeks now) that this baby is a sister.  "No brother, sister.  Girl."  I'm a little worried about what is going to happen if this baby is a boy.

At this point in my "pregnancy" with Rebekah, we were already home from the hospital with her.  I've learned this time around that these last couple of weeks are SO different  from the rest of the pregnancy.  Up until a few weeks ago I had only gained about 20 pounds the entire pregnancy and had actually lost some weight over a couple of weeks.  I've gained at least 2 pounds each of the last 3 weeks and I may not have looked "full term" at 37 weeks, but I definitely look it now just 2 weeks later. 

I have basically unpacked the hospital bag I packed 3 weeks ago.  I need that stuff!  I just hope I can remember to put everything back in.